With · steadfast · love · but · varying · ability.

So here are mine:
1. Professor
2. Historian
3. Foreign Language Instructor
4. ESL Teacher
5. Computer Trainer
6. Corporate Trainer
7. Criminologist
8. Curator
9. Anthropologist
10. Writer
11. Activist
12. Critic
13. Translator
14. Print Journalist
15. Communications Specialist
16. Public Policy Analyst
17. Archaeologist
18. Desktop Publisher
19. Director of Photography
20. Special Effects Technician
21. Cartoonist / Comic Illustrator
22. Set Designer
23. Costume Designer
24. Tour Guide
25. Librarian
26. Director
27. Fashion Designer
28. Dental Assistant
29. Craftsperson
30. Sign Maker
31. Jeweler
32. Animator
33. Potter
34. Judge
35. Musician
36. Comedian
37. Graphic Designer
38. Artist
39. Makeup Artist
40. Picture Framer

I love how right on the first two (and even a few of the later ones, like writer, curator, librarian, tour guide, etc.) are. These are seriously the answers they gave me. I didn't just put in what I wanted it to say!

Me- So did you get my email about the cost of my study abroad books?
Mom- Yeah, I did. I thought you were going to pay for them because we just sent a check for $4000 for the program. (which I apparently am taking out a loan to pay them back for...)
Me- (Aside: If I was able to pay for them right now, don't you think I would just fucking pay for them and not send you an email about it?) Don't you remember talking to me about this before?
Mom- No.
Me- Well, because I didn't work very many hours in April, my last two paychecks haven't been very big. So until I get paid for these three weeks, I only have enough to pay my June rent.
Mom- Oh, so what are you trying to tell me? What's the bottom line?
Me- (Another aside- Is it really that hard to figure out?) The bottom line is that I need to borrow $100 to pay for my books until I get paid for these 3 weeks.
Mom- Well, I'll talk to your dad and see what he says.

The whole process of paying for this study abroad has been very painful. When I got accepted to the program, I spelled out the costs for my dad. He said that he would help me to take out a student loan to pay for it. That was in February. Between then and now, I asked him about it periodically, but he kept saying that we would figure it out soon. So two weeks ago, I went home, and he wanted to talk about how we were paying for this study abroad. Now, of course, it is too late for me to take out a loan for the summer semester. So my dad asks me how much I have saved up.

I found that to be a very funny question to ask someone who pays her rent and other living expenses (excluding tuition and fees) on $7.50 per hour. Let's take a moment to look at how that all breaks down:

* I supposedly work 15 hours per week at the 4-H office (in April is was more like 8, and before then it was ususally closer to 20).
*After taxes, that works out to aproximately $420 per month.
*My rent is $300 per month. That does not include utilities.
*Between gas, electric, water, and cable/internet, utilities usually run me about $60-$75 per month.
*So, best case scenario, that leaves me with $60 per month for food and any other expenses that I might have.

But this semester, I ended up putting in a lot more hours at work. So what happened to this money? $300 of it went towards fees for my study abroad. But aside from that, I wasn't really sure, so I started to feel very irresponsible. As though I have been throwing money around like nobody's business. So I took a look at my checking acount to see if I could get to the bottom of this mystery. And what did I find? $80 spent on new clothes that I needed rather badly. Maybe a little bit too much money spent on going out to dinner or to the bar with my friends. A few books that weren't strictly necessary. And a few impulsive purchases (as in $10 or $20 spent on something not absolutely necessary). So I'm beginging to feel that the problem is not that I am irresponsible, but that my parents don't quite understand what is going on here. But who knows, really?

Another thing before I go: the reason that I worked so few hours in April was because I had been neglecting my coursework because of my work here at the 4-H office. So I had to take some time off in April to pick up the pieces. So my grades this semester were not what they should have been. Which, of course, did not make my father happy. Maybe I am just a selfish, spoiled brat, but this pressure is sort of getting to me. I feel like they won't be happy unless I am self-suffiencent and have a 4.0.

2. The Magnetic Fields are absolutely amazing, and listening to 69 Love Songs is making my Friday even more enjoyable. The album is made up of three volumes, each of which have 23 'love songs'. And the love songs are fantastic. Most of them are rather short (but there are some longer ones thrown in as well), and they range from cynical and ironic to downright ridiculous or self-mockingly sweet and sappy. Stephin Merritt, the lead singer, has a fantastic voice, and the way that he delivers the more ridiculous lyrics is excellent. So the moral of the story is that you should all check out The Magnetic Fields. Two of my favorite Magnetic Fields songs that are not on 69 Love Songs are "When you were my baby" and "You love to fail," both of which are on The Wayward Bus/Distant Plastic Trees. So anyway, check them out.

3. I talked to my dad about study abroad today, and thankfully he was much more understanding about my financial situation. My parents have been upset about the fact that I haven't saved any money for the trip. This is simultaneously understandable and frustrating, because most of the time I barely make enough to pay rent, utilities, and miscellaneous expenses, but at the same time, there were times this semester when I really could have saved a bit of money had I been more responsible/showed some restraint. The problem is that when I have a bit of money it burns a hole in my pocket. I need to work on that. But fortunately, my parents have decided to go ahead and pay for the study abroad and figure out financing (I'm assuming for next semester ) later on.

4. Adam and I had dinner at my house last night, and once again I made the mistake of trying to cook something new and exciting rather than something I know that I can do well. Someday I will learn. But in any case, I had a great time, and I have a funny story to relate:

The following is a conversation between Adam and his father as told to me by Adam (note, he had not yet told his parents that he had a new girlfriend, so this was the big announcement. And of course it is paraphrased because you are getting this third hand):

Adam: So I'm thinking of coming home for a week or so in August.
His Dad: Oh, we should go to a ball game.
Adam: Yeah, and I might bring my new girlfriend with me for a bit.
His Dad: (pause) We should take her to a ball game.

I found this simultaneously hilarious and awesome, but it took me a while to convince Adam that I actually thought it was awesome. He seemed to think I was being sarcastic. But in any case, it looks like I'll be going to a Mets game in August. :)

So in order to pass some time, I will fill you in on the exciting new development that I have been writing cryptic entries about for a week or so. Adam (the same guy I was dating on and off all year) and I officially became 'an item' (or a couple or 'in a relationship' or however you want to put it) last weekend. I was dating a few other guys, but it got to the point where I didn't want to anymore. I decided that I liked Adam too much to keep dating other people. And I'm really happy about it. It is exciting to be at the begining of a relationship, and I'm having a wonderful time with Adam. If I've talked to any of you at all in the past week or so, you are probably sick and tired of hearing about him, but for better or for worse, that's how I get when I'm infatuated.

So let me tell you a little bit about this guy with whom I'm so infatuated. He is 26 years old, and he grew up on Long Island. He has two younger sisters. I believe that Kaitlin is 23 (maybe 24), and she went to culinary school and is now working in a bakery in New York City. Kiera is my age, and she is majoring in theatre at NYU. Adam has a bachelors and a masters in Cinema Studies from NYU, and last year he worked full time in New York after finishing his masters degree. He just finished the first year of the American Studies PhD program at MSU, and the freshman writing class that he was teaching just ended. He is a big Mets fan (which I find amusing because he is Italian, a New Yorker, and he really likes baseball. Shocking, isn't it?), and he reads science fiction and comic books. He also likes all kinds of obscure bands that I have never heard of (and some good ones which I have), so he has introduced me to some fun new music. And I love hearing stories about his "misbegotten youth," as he calls it. So, that's my new boyfriend in 500 words or less. What can I say, I can't resist those nerdy, highly educated types...

I guess I should get back to working i.e. being real people.